Extra! Extra! Extra!
by ashangel101010
Summary: Set before season six's "The Secret Greenhouse" episode. Bloom comes across the forgotten drama club room. She also gets to sit through a play put on by the forgotten drama club.


Extra! Extra! Extra!

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Suggested Theme:

Main Theme- Belladonna's Snare from Adolescence of Utena

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Bloom couldn't sleep. It's not because of Stella's loud snoring from next door or because the Trix are wreaking havoc again. She just can't sleep. In her jay-blue chemise and without slippers, she decides to take a walk. She uses her magic to silently slip out of the apartment. The air is a bit humid which slightly frizzes her hair. She's by herself, so she doesn't see the point in looking perfect if no one else is there.

She knows it is past curfew and she could get caught by Griselda, but she doesn't really care. She feels like walking through the campus like a spirit. She doesn't have a destination in mind. She's just walking and hoping it will tire her out. She walks and walks until she comes across a painted arrow on the marble floor.

The arrow is red and encased in a white box; it almost looks like a stop sign with its colors reversed. The arrow is pointing directly at a plain, wooden door. Bloom has never seen this door before; in fact, she's never really explored this part of the campus. She has a feeling this might be one of those magical, unused rooms in the campus. This room could have important information like on how to find Eldora.

She opens the door and is greeted with a flight of wooden steps. There are more arrows decorated on the walls that point for her to go down. She does this and finds another wooden door with another arrow pointing at it. She rolls her eyes and hopes that this door isn't some magical room for storing doors and arrows.

She opens the door and is greeted with a dozen, carefully-arranged chairs and a small stage. There is a chalkboard, which she didn't know something that archaic would exist in Magix, on the stage. She gets closer to make out what is written in blue chalk on the chalkboard:

" _The Tale of the Dragon"_

The rose-red curtain decides to fall onto the stage. Immediately, Bloom scrambles into the nearest seat. _Perhaps someone is putting on a play, but at this time? Or maybe I accidently walked into a late-night rehearsal or something?_ Bloom theorizes to herself. The lights go out, and Bloom scrambles for a seat. Then, only a single light comes on from behind the curtain. She can see a giant rose stitched into the curtain.

"Extra! Extra! Extra! Extra! At last, at last, it's begun! The Dragon sealed away, the boring princess, the story that couldn't be told until now! _The Tale of the Dragon_!" She sees a shadow of a girl come onto the stage. She is cranking some sort of phonograph that is playing accordion music. She has a ponytail and a hairband in her hair; she walks backwards and disappears offstage.

"Beware! Beware! They still exist somewhere in this world. You're not safe. Beware!" The ponytail shadow girl comes out again, but she's crouching and dressed up like a stooped old man with a long beard and a cane. _I guess this is some kind of shadow play but with people instead of hands._ Bloom figures and hopes this play will go well. The shadow girl disappears offstage once again.

"What are you saying? What do you know?" It sounds like a different voice from the shadow girl. Bloom presumes this must be the narrator.

"Have you heard this tale?" However, there is another new voice. So there might be two narrators.

"This story takes place when the boys of the world were princes. The world hadn't completely fallen into darkness then. The reason for this is because there was a Sparks Princess." _Sparks? It sounds so familiar._ Bloom tries to recollect where she heard the word, but her memory isn't forthcoming like a bunch of stubborn kids.

" _Roar! Err! Ra!_ Help! A monster is attacking me!" This time a shadow girl with braided pigtails and dressed up like a parody of a prince is sitting in the middle of the stage. She is using a hand puppet of a monster to attack herself with.

"Clop-clop! Clop-clop! Clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop!" The ponytailed shadow girl is in a poufy dress and comes riding out on a stick unicorn with a wheel. Bloom wants to slap herself in the face for deciding to stick around for this. She has a feeling that this is going to be one of those cheap and cheesy plays. But she's here now, so it wouldn't be kind of her to slip away now.

"Accursed monster! I shall slay you!" The ponytailed shadow girl pulls out a wand with a heart on top. She points at the monster hand puppet and the hand puppet falls in an exaggerated fashion like it was slain. _Those girls look pretty small; they could be freshmen who couldn't to put on this play in public because Griselda wouldn't let them. Seeing it now, I don't blame Griselda for shooting this down._ Bloom tries not to groan.

"Are you all right, Prince?" The ponytailed shadow girl kneels to look into the pigtailed shadow girl's eyes. Or at least that's what Bloom presumes so.

"Thank you, Sparks Princess!" The Prince sounds so girly and wispy that Bloom wonders why the pigtailed shadow girl didn't deepen her voice to sound like a guy. Or at least a pubescent boy.

"Now then, your promised ring." The Prince pulls out a ring with a ridiculous large diamond. It looks like an engagement ring. For some reason, Bloom feels like this has happened to her once or twice. However, she knows that Sky has never proposed to her.

" _Gow! Gow! Gow!_ Help me! My fiancée is mad at me for seeing another girl!" Before the Sparks Princess could be proposed to, the monster hand puppet returns to terrorize the Prince.

"Clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop!" Once again, the Sparks Princess comes riding in on her stick unicorn with a wheel. _Oh God, they're going to do this bit again._ Bloom almost smacks her face with her own hand in annoyance.

"Fear not! I have accused her for witchcraft and now her reputation is ruined!" Once again, the Sparks Princess pulls out her wand and slays the monster hand puppet acting like the fiancée of the Prince. Bloom frowns at the Sparks Princess's actions. She ruined another girl's life for some cheating liar!

"Thank you, Sparks Princess!" Bloom wishes those two would get punished already. They seem like such terrible people in her eyes.

"Now then, your promised ring!" Once again, the Prince pulls out the engagement ring as though he were going to propose to her.

"Yes! The boys of the world were all princes! All because we were always protected by the Sparks Princess. The world overflowed with light." The Prince stops his own proposal by expositing this piece of obvious information.

"However…" The Prince falls down and the light on stage goes out for a second.

"Hello? Hello? Are you the Sparks Princess?" Now, a shadow girl, she's not sure which, comes out dressed like a stooping old lady with a long nose and a staff with a large knot. However, she looks like an exaggerated witch in a fairytale to Bloom.

"What's wrong, Old Woman?" _At least, she is equally concerned with this old lady like she was for the Prince._ It is the only positive thing that she can say about the play.

"Calamity is overtaking this world! Someone is plotting to steal the light…and plunge the world into darkness!" Bloom is fairly certain that the old woman is most likely the villain in this story. She sounds a bit witchy like the Trix.

"Who are you talking about?" Of course, the Sparks Princess is ignorant of the old woman's hidden intentions.

"A witch!" Bloom hears a cackling in the distance.

"A witch!?" The Sparks Princess is still wholly ignorant of the old woman even after that obvious clue.

"Yes! Surely you know about it. The tower that floats in the sky. That is the witch's tower. The witch who lives in there now…is planning to steal the light from this world!" Now an upside-down shadow tower appears on the stage. _It almost looks like Cloud Tower_ , Bloom is amazed at the coincidence.

"What do you mean, 'the light of the world'?" The Sparks Princess is surprisingly ignorant of something so important to the Prince and to the world.

"Don't you know what the light is? It is…That which is eternal. That which shines. The power of miracles. The power to bring the world revolution." The stage becomes engulfed in a bright, sky-blue light.

"Then I will defeat this witch and save the light of this world!" The Sparks Princess boldly declares while twirling her wand.

"And so the princess flew to the tower…in order to stop the witch and save the light." Now, a small puppet of the princess and her unicorn is used to fly to the tower.

"However…!" The light goes out for a second.

"Welcome to my tower…" The light comes back on the stage. This time the old lady and the Sparks Princess are on the stage. Bloom is right. The old lady is the witch.

"Oh my…! You're that old woman!" The ponytailed shadow girl sounds surprised, but Bloom isn't. She saw this coming a long time ago.

"You fool! This was all a trap to seal you into this castle!" Bloom hopes this will be over soon.

"Wha…!" A lightbulb falls onto the Sparks Princess.

"It is you who is the light!" Now, a cage falls on the Sparks Princess.

"Why are you doing this?! Witch, who are you really?!" _She's doing it because she's evil. All the fairytale witches only do evil things because they are evil like the Trix._ Bloom mutters inwardly.

"You still haven't figured out who I am?" The old lady removes her cloak and long nose to reveal a shadow girl with a large bow in her hair. She's dressed up like a snake.

"Holy…! You're my…my…MY SNAKE FRIEND!" Bloom is now immensely confused. This snake friend has not been even hinted at once throughout this play. But then again, this play wasn't exactly normal or sensible to start out with.

"Yes, yes, Childhood Friend! It's me! You are the princess who protects all the boys of this world! The one who makes every boy in this world a prince!" The snake begins to twirl around like a top.

"The Sparks Princess!" Bloom briefly feels a light shine upon her. She looks up and sees that there isn't even a lightbulb in the ceiling. She writes it off as part of her imagination.

"But all I am is…your snake friend. I'm the only one you can't make a prince!" _Well, she is a snake. I don't think snakes can become princes._ Bloom believes, but she doesn't rule out the possibility completely. Magic can do almost anything, so a snake becoming a prince might be possible…

"But even saying that…!" The Sparks Princess sounds like she is in great pain like she had her soul ripped out. This was the only genuine moment of good acting in Bloom's opinion.

"And that is why I…have become a witch! A snake who cannot become a prince…is doomed to become a witch!" The snake puts back on her witch costume and continues to mocks the Sparks Princess.

"The witch imprisoned the prince…and the world fell into total darkness. The witch still wanders our dark world even now. She searches for young, noble souls to sacrifice anew! She seeks to keep another from bringing light to the world! All so darkness will reign…" The light goes out again.

"Beware! Beware! She's still around, somewhere in this world. You, too…must beware!" Finally, the lights come back on and illuminate the room. Bloom takes it as her cue to leave. She heads back to the apartment and slips back into her bed.

"Those girls were so…weird." Bloom admits. It has been the strangest thing that has ever happened to her and it didn't even give her a clue to Eldora's location. She goes to sleep, feeling as though that play was such a waste of her time.

* * *

Back in the forgotten drama club room, a shadow UFO lands on stage. The pigtailed shadow girl and the big bow shadow girl toast each other with margarita glasses. They are in front of the UFO.

"Our play today went perfectly!" The big bow shadow girl comments happily.

"Ah, the joys of being an actress!" The pigtailed shadow girl and the big bow shadow girl finally drink their margaritas.

"Extra! Extra! Extra! Extra! Oh my…! You're my little sister! Yes, Big Brother! The light sealed away, the sad prince. _The Tale of the Rose_ , now in its greatest telling!" The ponytailed shadow girl re-enacts the characters from the play. Well, she re-enacts very similar characters from another very similar play.

"There's really not much difference between this play and the last one." The big bow shadow girl comments while looking at the ponytailed shadow girl.

"Except that the last one had a true prince and a true witch." The pigtailed shadow girl points out.

"You're right!" The ponytailed shadow girl agrees while twirling the wand with a heart on it.

"Definitely similar." The big bow shadow girl lets go of her margarita.

"Definitely. Definitely." The shadow girls head into the UFO and crash back into the coffin that they came from.

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 **Author's Comments-** I've got to admit this has to be the strangest crossover I've ever written. It's not campy like _Truly Outrageous!_ But it is weird. For those who haven't watched _Revolutionary Girl Utena_ , I advise you to do so. Or at least watch episode thirty-four which is called, "The Rose Crest". You won't be able to get what the heck this whole thing is about if you don't at least watch episode thirty-four.

I pretty much re-used and re-tooled the shadow girl's _The Tale of the Rose_ play for this. I pretty much just added references to Bloom's past and her impending future. In _Utena_ , the shadow girls acted like a Greek chorus and a foreshadowing device at the same time. I did my best trying to capture the shadow girls, but they are so hard to write because they are so…so alien! Hopefully, this provides someone a laugh while reading this. I know I laughed several times, but I'm biased.


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